The day i let my love go free. Normally we would call it a break-up but that definiton only applies when you stop loving the other person.
I never stopped loving him and he never actually loved me, so its not the same.
he loved the fact that he had a companion again, he liked the way i made him feel about himself. that is what he loved not the person who was making him feel this way.
it seems this is my biggest curse, i make the other person feel so good that they get deluded into thinking that they love me when actually they don't. it was so obvious all the time but the sincerity at that time fooled me into thinking that maybe this time it was different, that this time i could maybe trust another person with all of me and not be disappointed or broken.
i was wrong. so very wrong.
i didn't see the signs that it wasn't love at all it was just a mere dependency on my abilities. but i got fooled, i believed... i believed that it was real that we would have a future, a shared life. and so i gave him my all. i gave him my soul and my life, i gave him everything that i never gave and now will never give.
i fell so much in love that i refused to see the warnings and the signposts, the little markers that told me that what i percieved wasn't real. i just fell and i felt happy in falling not realizing that for every breathless, amazing weightless moment i was just getting closer to the day of reckoning when i would hit the ground.
it happened today, finally the ground came and met me and i exploded against it with nothing to cushion the fall.
i couldnt lie and hide anymore to myself. the delusions were over and it was time to move on. the world had completed a rotation, the sparkling day had turned into a starry night and it was time for all to sleep.
the next day is not like the previous one, what was is gone and now it was time for a freedom. i understand this only now.
goodbye my love. i miss you. i wished you had missed me too. then maybe we could stay as we were but obviously it was only a fantasy.
so remember today, for today was the day i set my love free.
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