Don't Speak

You and me

We used to be together

Everyday together

Reminds me of the time i split with Debo. It was the theme song of my life at that time.

The split even though it happened sometime in march had actually begun way before in December, during the inter-NIFT Converge.

It was without a doubt the worst time of my life.

Its all ending

We got to stop pretending

Who we are

I got a glimpse into Debo unyeilding soul then, when she left me alone for the full 7 days of the said Converge.

All alone in a foreign place with different people ready to rag you at all times as soon as you stepped out.

I wouldn't want to wish that time on anyone i know, being like that without anything to do, without anyone to talk to, with the white walls of the dorm closing in on me, the vestiges of someone else's friendship stuck on the cupboard beside me.

With my head in my hands

I sit and cry..

I did that most of the time, actually everytime she would walk into the room and not even look at me. Or she would happily make plans with others without any attempt to be quiet about it.

The way she refused to talk to me even after i begged to know my crime.

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

Don't tell me because it hurts

Thats what i thought when she finally told me after 6 days of insane torture.

Because i said a thoughtless remark about her lifestyle in her hometown. That was it. And it hurt. Like anything did it hurt.

I was ripped apart, piece by piece my disbelief was beyond the limits of the galaxy... for this? You killed me inch by inch for a unintended rude remark? My best friend?

I can see us dying

Are we?

That was the end. Even though i tried so very hard to forgive her later when we came back from the holidays. I couldn't. I just could not wipe out those 7 days of horror from my mind, the pain that was inflicted intentionally and brutally had burn't all the bridges in our relations.

Anything i tried to make would be a pale matchstick shadow of the original one.

And so we ended, childishly and very badly, mostly because of me as i was unable to explain to her face about what she had done. It wasn't something i could believe she didn't realize. I could not pretend like nothing had happened, though i could also not stop caring about her, i could not love her like before. Never.

lyrics -

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Thanks to lyrics007.com for the lyrics

bum bum bum bum

For someone whose horoscope says "Your timing is purrfect"
My timing couldn't have been more off.. Not only was my Amie online long before and that too for the whole day, when he was expressively getting bored, but i had also been online... but i was too busy playing games to notice or even check up on him.
Amazing..
But lately i have been going off my Amie, is it a simple case of getting over the lust/like/loathing?
Or is it more firmly rooted in my new policy of taking a break from all manner of flirtations/dates/boyfriends for some time to myself?
Is it entirely possible that i, undoubtedly one of the most boy-hungry females, finally matured? Isn't this what all you SatC-ish people out there say? Emotional Maturity = not wanting guys all the time/ wanting only one guy at the time (but pretending not to want him so that you get those yummy diamonds) ??

Well i guess it only took one repeat semester, one snubbing, one stoned kiss, one stalker and one bassist with phlegm to make me realize that.
Doesn't take much does it?

YOU & me

Damn it, damn you , damn you all!!!

I think i bloody well deserve a break! I have been bored, abused, harassed, depressed and generally been used as everyone's pissing pot.

Pissed from the heat? Yell on me!

Pissed from work? Yell bloody well on me!

Too bloody lazy to get a glass of fucking water??? YELL ON ME WHY DON'T YOU??

Need a hug ? Accost me! Not caring at all whether i am doing work or making a life changing project.. no man, why the hell should you care?

Just come and bloody treat me like the dog. Play with me till your heart desires then just fucking push me away.

For everything i want or want to do, i am an ignorant, greedy, spoiled AND insensitive monster!

However it okay if you blow the grocery bill on hand puppets for a non-existent creche that you may-or-may-not open in the near-or-far future.

Yep.

Everything is fine when its you.

Whether it screaming at elders or not answering the doorbell, YOU are a paragon of virtue beyond reproach! Yet one cheeky hint from me and i'm cast into the conflagration of hell before you can say 'go to hell'.

You are the perfect model of discipline.. the drunken nights, home coming in the morn, brawls, unnecessary force don't really count .

What counts is not being home before dark even if you left in the late afternoon and it was for your beloved school friends whom you haven't met for months.

It pisses me off. When am i going to get my piss pot? I need to piss too! Preferably over someone's head. But no such luck yet.