Thank You Debo.

You gave me the courage to go to places alone. Showed me that it's okay to wander in solitude. 

I learned that it's okay to be hung up 3 times over on boys as long as you keep yourself open for the fourth because you were so satisfied. You made me realize that sometimes being in denial is more fun than accepting everything right away because the joy goes deeper that way. Sometimes you needed to be told you were okay as you were and I got the chance to be myself by telling you that.

You dare me to take a risk, encourage me to move away from comfort and be the crazy I want.
Because you are therefore I am.
Forever. 

Screwing Friendships

This is a post on how to screw up a totally awesome friendship.
The best way to do that is to forget your boundaries, there may be things that you are kind of hoping for or you think might be developing but actually forcing anyone into that scenario is a bad idea. Even if they weren't seeming to mind it too much at the time. Although that could be attributed to being high.
Even then its still a bad idea.
The next worst thing to do is not talk about it at all afterwards, trust me you should talk about it. If nothing else, laughing it off can at least ease the tensions that may otherwise build up and cause your cold to graduate to a full on flu. Also not talking would make the parties involved so awkward with one another that they now speak in monosyllables where once they had to physically restrain the other person to get a word in edgewise.
Bad bad bad scenario that.
After all that comes your own lovely head screaming things that you would usually hear in a college dorm catfight and since its all in your head you can't even turn the bloody thing off and feel better. Soon comes the guilt that would put a child-murderer to shame. Speaking of shame, that comes along too in bundles and bundles, so many bundles that in a way you start wishing that it could magically turn into money so that you can move out of your parent's house.
Keep concentrating on your head and you might need therapy.
Then its the turn of the things everyone else's head is saying, namely friends and family and some innocent bystanders too. If you're lucky and your friends aren't really your friends they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear even if that is furthest from the truth. True friends will let you know that everything your head is screaming is perfectly true and therapy wouldn't be so bad for you right now.
Nothing like confirmation of your stupidity.
Now comes the part when everything is in utter shambles and you're wondering if its even worth getting up in the morning because in your dreams the world is just peachy. But unfortunately you can't sleep forever unless you're in a coma, so you just get up everyday and face everything and hope that the day is not far when you start to forget the whole mess and hopefully get a new friend with whom you'll be more careful while you're at it. Because you can't literally die of embarrassment so might as well hope for less of them in the future and count these incidents as training modules.

Minors and Majors

So life is going in a very laissez-faire way, which i'm not complaining about really, after all the upheveals and emotional dramas im actually rather enjoying this peaceful (so far) month where i'm basically doing very little but at the same time doing very well.
Now generally people (e.g. Dad) have an opinion that a person who is not busy is not living and is therefore likely to be dead, but i disagree. This waiting and watching period has given me time to reflect on things that matter and to also be my own woman and finally take initiative in burning and building bridges.
Although i'll be the first to point out that i'm nowhere near where i actually want to be but hey! at least i took the first few steps! I'm allowed to take a few moments to sit down, smell the roses and sip the champagne and revel in my minor but major success on getting started on the road to success!

I've lost it

I think i'm going crazy. No seriously, i have all the signs -

1. Inability to focus on reality
2. Random paranoria
3. Excessive bursts of energy followed by lethargy

See? I just might be crazy.

Or

Maybe i'm normal. And have expected too much and given too much of myself to the wrong person.
I mean the whole reason anyone would want their Guy to be in the same city would be so they can spend as much time possible with each other right?
It doesn't have to be everyday! But whenever its been a bad day at work or the weather is romantic, you can duck out in the weekday and meet up! Also meeting more than once on the weekend would be nice too.
So is it wrong for me to expect that? Especially when He is here on an extended vacation so far, no work, no courses, no family etc.
God i can't even write about this. I feel so bloody confused and disappointed and angry and messed up.

Winter Festive ?

Now going through the Day 2 pictures of the LFW Winter/Festive has been pretty boring apart from the few high points created by Nikhil Thampi and Payal Khandwala.

Payal Khandwala

Nikhil Thampi

Aartivijay's cute cluelessness

The other designers seem to be favoring there and done things and most of them are not even following the bloody fashion week theme of Winter Festive! Case point in this is Artivijay Gupta whose all white  printed garments really belong in a summer/spring show, i mean no one is gonna wear a nifty little sundress in winter no matter how adorable it looks.
Unhappily it seems most designer's seem to forget the Winter part so the few collections i liked also suffered from shorts, tanks and cotton flares.
**Sigh**

Yech is all i can say

Another one who joined Aartivijay's Gang of Cluelessness was Nimish Shah whose clothes were winter wear but only if the festival was someone's funeral.  Drab prints mixed in with those awful sweaters that looked trailer-trash borrowed made for one super eye-ache.











One designer whose work really caught my eye was Sidharta Aryan. 
I loved the way his garments moved and clung in the most flattering of ways and his mix of prints with Orient style trimmings and 50's feel of experiment was awesome. 
The only thing i wish is that he would have chosen a slightly different subject for the tone of his prints. The prints he had were nice but had an undeniable seen-before quality.

Fresh attractive, a little familiar

Another designer who i liked was Roma Narsinghani. 
Her clothes were whimsical with a bohemian mughal feel. I liked the way she had incorporated the flowing fabrics and geometric prints, they went well and gave a vibe of young indian blood. 
However i wished she would have edited her outfits a little, in some cases the fabulous lines were being distorted by humongous and frankly unnecessary surface decoration. She would do well to not try to add drama to the clothes, they can create it all by themselves.

Well done but OVERDONE!

Symmetry

Shillong Again

Its been great here so far! A kind of reconnaissance of all those wonderful times i spent here for 3 years.
The best thing is that even though i have been out of the scene for the last 6 months, people still remember me and all my little shenanginans...
I'll miss this place like anything when i'll go especially when i dont really have any more reason to come back again, there is of course the next year's graduation which is also of my batch (the batch i joined after flunking one semester) but somehow i dont feel that there will be any real tie bindinjg me to come there.
Of course this is just musing for now, who knows i might become closer than ever with them once the internships in delhi start, i might have my wishes of the college life in delhi with the people from shillong.
Its seems so weird that once i never needed to take a taxi to and from anywhere as i usually had one or the other person driving me around. But then again as i strive to remind myself that before those times i was a hardcore walker/ shared taxi personality.
But its harder to leave a luxurious habiot than to get one. I have to remind myself that the local part of shillonhg is gone now and that wasnt the part i had cherished or loved the most while i was here.
True the local life was awesome but it was only so because i knew i had a hostel and college to get back to and people there who would rally around me in the time of crisis.
So ya, coming back served many purposes the main one was to remind me that some things had only hyappened for 6 months while the others were there for the past 3 years and will (hopefully) remain for the next 30 as well.